To Fear Or Not To Fear…

Buddhism teaches that there is useful fear and unuseful fear.

Useful fear is our body’s instinctual response to unsafe situations. It is the inner voice/body yelling “run!” when you’re in a dodgy situation, “get to higher ground!” or “don’t pet that rattlesnake!” Healthy fear mobilizes us to react quickly to keep us safe. It is protective.

Unuseful fear is based in ignorance and delusion - i.e. seeing a rope and thinking it is a rattlesnake (which you should not pet!) or being convinced that if you fail/fuck up, your life will be over. This sort of fear tends to be connected to things you want to ultimately control, but really can’t, like your plane safely making it to its destination (I am usually convinced it will not and then lapse into the deep throws of fear) or feeling valuable enough based on what others think of you. It tends to be about our inner struggles and/or future threats and can often be named “anxiety.” This kind of fear keeps us living small. It keeps us from acting on our dreams to start a new business, begin or leave a relationship, move to a new city. It can keep us from knowing the full humans we are inside. 

Identifying the difference between protective fear and existential anxiety isn’t always easy, especially if you’ve experienced trauma. However, naming what you’re experiencing at the moment it’s happening can be a way to create a new relationship with fear and self.  Saying something like, “while this person, job, move, fill-in-the-blank feels really scary right now, it is not actually a tiger waiting to attack me. This is not dangerous.” 

There will always be something to fear - it is a part of that suffering thing the Buddha talked about. But remembering we have the ability to cultivate a different, more liberated relationship with it can potentially free us up to make decisions about our lives more in line with our hearts rather than our fears. 

Kyra Haglund